Heredity or Environment?
Both heredity and environment are powerful factors in forming who we become. When it comes to raising boys, it is vital to understand both influences. Boys face unique challenges rooted in their biology and the environment in which they grow. To neglect either aspect is to risk leaving boys ill-equipped for the future—to the detriment of themselves and the women and children whose lives they will impact as men.
A male child is the product of conception by a sperm carrying the Y chromosome, a female child is the product of conception by a sperm carrying an X chromosome. It's only one of the 46 chromosomes in his genome, but that Y chromosome is a major reason as to why boys are different and why they need specific care and support. The current ideology of western culture is to downplay the biological/genetic element in the formation of our sex – male or female. In this blog I identify some of the issues that emerge inherently from the Y chromosome; those insights demonstrate the need for a range of support mechanisms to nurture the development and future of our boys.
Added to the biological issues are challenges for boys that find their roots in the culture in which they develop their inner beliefs about what it means to be masculine. There is much in the current environment that is poisonous to a boy’s developing masculinity. As we saw in the previous Blog, pornography has become a significant part of the environment, poisoning the development of boys in ways we would never have imagined in previous generations. Pornography is not the only issue, but it is a significant one.
It matters what a boy becomes. Women and children will be profoundly impacted by the kind of man the boy becomes. That sounds sexist. Doesn’t it matter what a girl becomes? Of course it does, it’s just that as a population, girls are less problematic. They tend to do less damage. They tend by wiring to lean into caring, serving, contributing and nurturing. Boys require more work as a population for that to become their way of expressing their masculinity. John and Julie Gotman are trainers of marriage counsellors who have given their lives to understanding the dynamics of healthy homes and marriages. Listen to what John Gotman has to say about the significance of what boys become in manhood:
Men have the power to make or break a relationship. What men do in a relationship is, by a large margin, the crucial factor that separates a great relationship from a failed one. This does not mean that a woman doesn’t need to do her part, but the data proves that a man’s actions are the KEY variable that determines whether a relationship succeeds or fails, which is ironic, since most relationship books are written for women – heart surgery on the wrong patient.
It matters what kind of man the boy becomes. By creation boys are different, and that difference is way more than simply having different genitals. Developing boys into healthy men is an increasingly problematic issue, the outcome of which cannot be taken for granted. Consider a few statistics that underline just how different boys are from girls. These Australian statistics are mirrored similarly in other cultures around the world:
Statistical Wake-Up Call:
· 19 males go to prison for every 1 female.
· 98% of all sexual assaults are committed by males.
· 90% of robberies are committed by males.
· 92% of abductions are committed by males.
· 87% of homicides are committed by males.
· 9 people will die by suicide in Australia today. 7 will be men.
· One woman is killed nearly every week as a result of family violence.
Boys are different and the difference impacts society at every level. It’s not a new thing.
Plato said of boys:
“Of all the animals the boy is the most unmanageable inasmuch as he has the fountain of wisdom in him not yet regulated; he is the most insidious, sharp-witted, and insubordinate of animals. Wherefore he must be bound with many bridles.”
For those who might react to Plato’s statement with howls of protest, let us assume that Plato was not a fool, that there is something of a mystery in what he says, and ask,
“Why is it so?”
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It begins with a boy’s biology and it's exacerbated by an unhelpful environment. The biological foundation of maleness presents boys with challenges they will need help to face successfully.
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Understanding the Biology of Boys
A boy is a human who inherited the Y chromosome. It’s the Y that makes the difference. We will explore the biology in greater detail in the YVM course, but here is the short version.
Brain Rewiring. In the womb the Y chromosome calls for the rewiring of the developing brain between the 16th and 26th week. The boy’s brain circuitry is significantly different from that of a girl. Describing the difference between males and females as “Mars versus Venus” is an overstatement – but the difference between populations of boys and girls is significant and impacts the way life is processed. Girls, having received an X chromosome do not go through this rewiring process in the womb. The consequences of this for boys are many and varied, the speed and intensity of sexual arousal being just one.
Testosterone Engine. That’s the hormone most involved in the rewiring of the boy’s brain. His brain is sensitised to testosterone, which is also the hormone of libido in both men and women. However, he will live with levels of testosterone between 4 and 20 times higher than the girls around him.
Heightened Visual Arousal. The rewiring of his brain intensifies his tendency to be sexually aroused by sight. Pornography will impact him instantaneously. His eyes will represent a challenge he will need to learn to control. Jesus knew that: “Whoever looks and lusts has committed adultery already in his heart.” Girls are not defined by testosterone; their hormonal engine is oestrogen and progesterone, giving girls a very different experience of their sexuality and a monthly cycle which boys will never experience in their lives.
Muscular Development. Puberty results in an explosion of testosterone promoting muscular development, allowing him to become physically more powerful than most girls he will ever meet. Without character development, he will be far more dangerous and capable of more damage. He has the power to intimidate, molest, or rape if he chooses to use his strength to that end.
Heightened Risk Taking. Testosterone is the hormone of risk and daring. Boys do risky things. I think back over the dumb and dangerous things I did in my childhood and youth and ask myself “what were you thinking?” That answer is: “Nothing”. I wasn’t thinking. I was living with the hormone of risk and daring. I just did dumb things without thinking. Boys inherit this tendency with the Y chromosome. They will need help, or they may not make it to manhood.
Aggression and Anger. Testosterone is the hormone of aggression. Males run to anger and violence more quickly. It is the hormone of fight and flight, and it has provided them with the muscles and strength to do both. Angry men kill women on a regular basis in this country. It is a dangerous thing to be born a woman and then cohabit with an unregulated male. They inherited this tendency with the Y chromosome. They will need help, or they may one day end up divorced, in jail, or in an early grave.
Relentless Sex Drive. Girls inherit the X chromosome. The resultant lower level of testosterone and the monthly cycle they live with means that girls do not tend to think about sex relentlessly unless it is provoked by the company they keep. The Y chromosome has invested the boy with testicles that produce testosterone, fuelling a more consistent experience of arousal. His testicles produce 300 million sperm a day, saved up in a sperm sac, waiting for an opportunity for ejaculation. As a result, boys experience their sex drive with a pressure, an urgency, and relentlessness that is not the norm for a population of girls. He will need help to manage his testosterone fog. The pressure of a boy’s emerging sex drive can be a significant distraction, which at times can be overwhelming. For the females in his orbit of influence to be safe, he will need to learn to contain his passion in an honourable manner, and that will not always be easy.
This short introduction to some of the challenges a boy faces from having inherited the Y chromosome alerts us to the potential for trouble. All I have done to this point is talk about a few aspects of a boy’s biology. Yet it is already abundantly clear this creature will need guidance, support, encouragement, a clear vision for his purpose, and a supportive environment committed to assisting him to develop confidence and character. Left to himself in an unbridled environment the trajectory of his character will easily tend to trouble.
Did God make a mistake with boys? Jesus didn’t think so. God has a design and a purpose in creating us male and female. He described it in Matthew 19:4-6:
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matt 19:4-6
Jesus taught that sex is a GOD idea, designed for GOD purposes. God invented male and female. In a broken world we may have to deal with broken versions of maleness and femaleness, but that is not where we begin in framing our vision for masculinity or femininity. We begin with the Creator’s vision.
Toward The Future
Part of my purpose in being born a male was to grow up into the kind of man who could take on the responsibility of a life-long relationship with a woman, should I be fortunate enough to find a woman willing to join me in that commitment. Then, to be the kind of man with whom she could feel stronger and safer than she would be alone. To be the kind of man who would be faithful and true, trustworthy and safe, supporting her in child-bearing, and joining her in making a home where we and our children could grow and thrive. I grew up in a home led by an honourable and trustworthy male. My mother, and the children she bore including myself were the beneficiaries of his stability. My father was an honourable man. I am seeking to follow in his footsteps. That has been my experience. Every boy deserves the help he needs to grow in moral, spiritual, and mental health and make this his experience also.
This session has raised some of the challenges of heredity in terms of a boys biology and the Y chromosome. Now let us consider the challenges that emanate from the masculine soul; the emotional, psychological and relational challenges that come with masculinity. This I expect to address in #4 in this series.
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